Verbally Suppressing Children

I am proud of my 5-year-old daughters ability to produce the greatest of flatulence noises, using only her arm.  I have just been pottering around cleaning and she proudly requested my attention, to show me her raw talent.  I found myself about to say ‘stop; don’t do that it is rude’ with images in my mind, of some of my biggest critics stood there, shaking their heads disapprovingly at their perception of my inability to parent well.  These said critics often point out negatives and very rarely speak any words of encouragement, or even acknowledgement at a job I know I exceed in.  My self-awareness suspects where the real issues lie.

So yes my daughter and her farting noises, they sound almost like the approach of a fleet of Viking ships. Genius.

Relaxing in our home, she is exploring sounds and her body and some humour, what kind of parent would I be to interrupt her and tell her she is wrong, or throw water on her fires of inquisitive exploration, telling her she has bad manners?

Children are not our possessions, they are born to create their own paths in life.  We have not brought them into the world to be accessories, or ornaments that sit silently so we can then show them off and take all praise for how marvellous they are.  Children do not exist to create inanimate pictures of perfection, no; we need to promote animated free will and originality, authenticity and uniqueness.  We are merely like plant canes, we prop, support and allow to grow freely.  If we over shadow them with rules, they may be at risk of being too shaded to flourish.

We do need to teach our children manners.  Maybe we can go out later for a meal, with the sole aim of enjoying good food and focusing on good ways to behave in public and have a lesson on manners.  At home, it is pj’s and let it go mentality as long as there is respect and love present.

We love our little home we do.  My daughter is bursting with ripe personality and freedom of expression, I beam with pride.

manchesterneild

No one is putting my babe in a corner!!

Angela Neild

Manchester Counselling

 

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